Background (3/15): First Steps Toward Progress

I will always vividly remember the exact moment where I kicked myself into action. I was at work, probably two in the morning, hunched over a desk that was probably three inches too low. My back killed. I realized that I had little control over my career at the moment, but I could attempt to control my body. I remembered I had lost 20 pounds in college in about two months through a combination of walking on an treadmill, eating slightly less and slightly better thanks to Jimmy Johns subs, and drinking water until I thought I might vomit – then drinking another cup a few minutes later. I realized that working overnight in the hotel, I had a wide variety of food choices – and I didn’t need to eat chicken sandwiches slathered in Caesar dressing and a side of fries nightly. I could eat healthier, or what I thought was healthier, with fruits, granola, or lighter sandwiches. I had plenty of cold water from the cafeteria. Plus, the hotel was dead and would be for months in the summer – I could have more time to think through food and drink choices. I realized I knew a few people who’d struggled and might be able to help me out.

Possibly the most important epitome was that, unless I changed my life, I was doomed, absolutely doomed, to develop diabetes. On my maternal side of the family, my grandmother, great-aunt, and mother all had diabetes. Here I raced toward the same blight - and I hated needles! I would have to stab myself several times daily. Hell, I could have limbs amputated. Terrifying.

All things considered, I resolved to take action on the diet immediately , and initiated what now I realize was probably a very unwise crash diet. I went from eating quite a lot of food at every meal – we’re talking several sandwiches a day, fast food nearly every meal besides those eaten at work – to halving my intake, if that. I didn’t know really anything about different types of food or how they, or a diet change, would affect me, except that eating deep-fried food every meal was probably not smart. I just focused on eating less. I felt like I was starving for the first few days, but I’d finally found an immediate physical challenge – eat less and deal with it – so I toughed it out. I had no idea what the hell I was doing, but I thought it had to be a better choice than eating too much, too often. Maybe most significantly, I gave up pop – completely, cold turkey. I’d drunk at least 20 ounces, usually more, of Mountain Dew or Coca Cola daily for probably ten years, despite hating it as a kid. I’d tried to end my addiction previously, but the headaches always overpowered me, and the drink proceeded to ensnare me again. This time, I broke through, and stopped drinking any sort of pop, except rarely or on special occasions. I refused to pay $5 for bottled water at Wrigley, for example. Since I hated coffee, facing working overnight without liquid caffeine presented a daunting challenge. Still, I did it, resorting to sugar-free red bull in emergencies of four-hour-or-less sleep nights.

Shortly after, I signed up at the nearest gym, a $20/month, bare-bones place where people did their routine and checked out. It being mid-winter in Chicago, I struggled to make myself actually go. The challenge was exacerbated as I would workout after working all night, and it was absolutely freezing and dark out at 7AM. Walking even from car to gym in snow wasn’t pleasant. At the gym, I had even less of an idea what the hell I was doing than with the diet, screwing around on machines in random order, finding I was incredibly weak and could easily hurt myself if I didn’t get some help.

I regret that I never weighed-in correctly and officially at this point. The only starting weight reading I had was about 258 pounds, which I did with gym clothes and shoes on – so I consider my starting point about 255 pounds, although I realized some time later it was probably around 270. Despite the challenges, I told a good number of close friends and family that I’d decided to get in better shape, and we’d see where it went.