Friday, June 22, 2012

Background (13/15): Challenges, Disappointments


Despite running successes, some challenges mounted, particularly with foot and leg issues, and I did the best I could. I always had foot pain after running, but in late April or early May, it started to intensify around calluses while running, and didn't ease off afterward. After about three weeks of continual pain, I couldn’t deal with it anymore, so I stupidly tried to deal with it myself. Details unnecessary, I started chemically burning a few holes in my feet over a few days, realized that might’ve been dumb, and stopped – which only served to make the situation worse. Some of the off-day pain had receded, only to be replaced by more intense variants on running days. I sprung and upgraded to Brooks GTS 12s to try to alleviate some of the pain. They made no difference, and I instead focused on changing my form, landing on my forefoot more, which helped a bit.
Besides that stupidity, I had always been a klutz, which extended to working out and running. Pulling a hamstring or a calf happened on a regular basis, though buying a pair of calf compression sleeves, and eventually progressive compression socks, helped slightly. In the wake of long runs, limping around for two days due to blasted legs never felt pleasant. Worst of all, I proved remarkably adept at continuing to twist or roll either ankle about once a month. I felt certain, and terrified, that I would eventually break one, and the periods of rest after injury frustrated me.
Unfortunately, May brought more challenges. Somehow, mid-month, I managed to hurt myself, possibly at my new gym in a “get to know you” session with a personal trainer, when I did several exercises I’d never tried before that pushed me hard. Something didn’t feel right in the area between leg and groin in the days after. While I’d pulled that muscle a few times, this felt different. A doctor confirmed a few days later I’d gotten an inguinal hernia. Initially, he recommended I not run – despite a race lined up a week later. Since I’d unwisely run ten miles a few days after realizing what type of injury I’d accrued and wanted to test out how I felt, and it had felt fine, the doctor approved it.
A week later, Memorial Day weekend, I ran the Soldier Field 10-Miler race. I ran from the stadium, south on the actual roadway of Lake Shore Drive and back, which was awesome, but the race felt like a serious trial. I experienced the perils of mistiming and misjudging water intake and carbohydrate consumption. I ate far too small a serving of wheat pasta over four hours before running, resulting in exhaustion of energy reserves earlier than I’d anticipated; mistimed consuming a gel and sucked it down more than 45 minutes before stepping out, though I'd intended it to help with a strong start ten minutes afterward; and drank far and away too much water in the hours and minutes before the run, then couldn’t get near a bathroom until mid-race, leading to extreme discomfort. I made it to mile six without stopping. If that had been the only time I stopped, I would have felt fine about my performance.
For most runners, building endurance could be the greatest challenge for running long distance, but mine was dealing with terrible knees. Now deeply regretting that I’d not done the knee-lifts daily since college, my knees still lacked strength and made long runs very painful at the end. Though I’d built up some tolerance to that point, they’d still start hurting almost immediately after six miles into a run. Using a pair of patellar straps delayed the pain until mile eight, but at that point, it overcame me. Whereas previously, I always had kept moving in the past when being timed, regardless of circumstance, even while injured, this time I surrendered. I stopped an additional three times, walking a few blocks near the end, and considered giving up. Luckily, I didn’t, and finished as best as I could, with people on the sides of the path screaming at me to keep running. I shuffled onto the Soldier Field grass and grimacing in agony. I considered the race my first legitimate racing failure.
Immediately afterward, I came to the most disappointing conclusion related to fitness in quite a while: I probably wouldn’t have it in me to run the Half Marathon scheduled for July. Despite training in a somewhat committed fashion for several months, I probably had not tackled enough long-runs. The idea that you could run ten miles and then be capable of running 13.1 did not apply when a specific body part like a knee could limit your performance – I needed to have done run that distance before, several times, to get used to it. I envisioned humiliating myself. Even if I wanted to attempt the half, I might no longer get a choice – surgery was the only option to deal with the hernia, and I wanted it performed as soon as possible. Though the doctor told me it shouldn’t slow me down from running very long, I used it as a cop-out to not run the Half Marathon. I felt like I had just signed up too early to get a realistic look at the situation.
As I currently write this, dealing with those issues, and not running since rolling my right ankle two days ago, I find it difficult to stay positive about my chances to run that longer-distance race. I’m disappointed that my body seems to try to wreck itself, but even more disappointed in my past idiocies and lack of foresight, causing serious bodily harm that I’m now reaping.

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